After I shared yesterday’s post, 5 Ways to Get Children To Help With the Household Chores on several of my social media platforms. I was asked to share my opinion on whether or not parents should be expected to give children an allowance for completing chores? I personally feel that children shouldn’t be expected to get an allowance for helping contribute to the family. As I stated in my post yesterday, children want to feel needed in a family and assigning them chores gives them a chance to contribute to the family. Children often feel useful and needed when they have the chance to contribute and do their share of the household chores.
Disclosure: The opinions reflected in this post are my own and your opinions may differ from mine.
Rule # 1 – School Work Comes First
My children (who are currently 2, 12, and 16) have never expected me to give them an allowance for doing their house hold chores. When my children are in school, we have a rule in our house that they must complete their homework or projects first. School work comes first because school is their job. It is important that they do their best and complete each grade level so that they can graduate and go off to college or get a job in the future. Without schooling, it is very difficult to find a job.
Rule # 2 – Chores Have to Be Completed Before They Can Do Anything Else
Once their homework is completed, they have to complete their daily chores. The chores that they are expected to do on a school night should typically take roughly 10 to 15 minutes to complete, unless they are procrastinating or taking their time to get it done because they are too focused on something else.
On the weekends, they are expected to help with the weekly chores before they can play video games, watch movies, or play.
18 comments
I think you make some really good points Christy. We don’t really do an allowance either. Occasionally the kids will ask about doing extra chores to earn a little money, and I’m okay with that. Your comment about schoolwork first was a good one. I read an article a while back about how kids need to be allowed an hour to play after school to work out pent up energy before homework. Maybe that’s true, but I just don’t find that to work very well. I prefer they get it done before anything else too. Thanks for sharing!
I have a child who is ADHD and if he didn’t start his homework when he got home, I am not sure that he would know how to properly manage his time. Because he already likes to procrastinate at taking a bath some days, when he fully knows when it is time for him to go to bed each night.
My kids are too young so I can’t speak from that experience, however I remember growing up that my parents tried the allowance thing. It wasn’t successful, as it faded out within a month or so.
Thank you for sharing Jennifer. 🙂 I have learned from my own experience that children enjoy helping around the house for the most part. Mine can’t play their video games or use the computer if their chores are finished.
We don’t give an allowance, but we do give them video game time. Certain chores are worth x amount of minutes, etc.
We sorta do the same thing Jen, my older kids can’t play their video games unless they have completed their chores or have started them, ie dishwasher or laundry. I let them play between loads.
I had my kids helping with out an allowance first, then we added a few weekly chores and an allowance.
Thank you for sharing Pamela.
One of my children has started chipping in, and one is still sort of young (but likes to “help”).
I am thinking back to when I was younger, and I liked the way it felt to earn money. Of course chores needed to be done whether there was an allowance or not, but I didn’t like holding my hand out to go and do things, unless I could think of an extra thing or two to do, if that makes sense. I’m not sure. You make a good point, though.
With my children, holidays and birthdays are still the typical times when they get a few dollars. We haven’t set allowance in full effect, yet, but this is definitely food for thought.
I don’t mind my kids asking for a few bucks to go to the movie or go places. We still don’t allow our kids to go and do very many things unless we are with them.
I think chores and working together around the house, no matter the age, are great ways to teach team work as well as responsility and the ability to do a task. I can so relate, my Mom and Dad did almost everthing around the house… I was well into my 20’s before I ever mowed the lawn. What are chemicals??? 🙂 I never recall doing laundry or helping out in the kitchen.
By the time I started a family I was fairly clueless how to take care of a house or the responsibilities that come with keeping a house together… you are so right, a house can get turned upside down, oh so very quickly.
I want it to be different with my kids, even their Dad spends time working with them on stuff around the house, teaching them about tools, keeping stuff organized.
No, we do not pay our children an allowance for chores, but sometimes we assign task that give them a chance to earn money. We teach them about doing a ‘job’ well and being compensated for a job well done. I also assign them chores that they do together as a team… my daughters are 5 and 8, they are responsible for getting the recycle bin we keep in the house, from the house to the larger bin outside, the one that get taken to the curb has wheels, it is difficult for just one kid, but easy for two, if they work together.
I also spend a lot of time in the kitchen with them cooking and baking, and they have lots of fun doing that. I do not pay them to keep their rooms clean they are responsible for that. Sometimes we buy in bulk, I’ll put everything on the floor, cut it open, and then have them put stuff away and organzie it –I will compensate by giving them points to use towards special gaming time or staying up late (weekends & summer) or a dollar amount, say like $5.00, and they can save it or spend it. If they choose to spend it, I take them to the store, they pick out their purchase (I work with them on idenifying on whether or not they can afford it, they take it to the counter, they are then responsible for keeping up with the change.
These are fantastic ideas Amy. I agree kids don’t always need money to get them to help out around the house. I appreciate you sharing your ideas.
We have certain household chores our children are expected to do every day as part of helping maintain a nice, clean home – making their bed, keeping their bedroom clean, picking up after themselves, helping clean up after meals. But then we have extras that we add to a chore chart for them to do each week that we do pay them for because we also want them to learn what it’s like to work for money and what happens when the work isn’t done (the money doesn’t get paid out). We also have them take all money they receive regardless of what the source was and separate it three ways – savings, spending, and giving. They each have three piggy banks labeled. When they want a new toy and it’s not a special occasion, we have them pull the money from their spending bank. Every so often we go through their giving bank and discuss options for what they should do with their giving money, such as giving to a family we know that might be in need or sending it to a particular charity. When their saving bank is full we take it to the real bank and deposit the money into their real savings account.
That is a great idea Rossann. I think it is important to teach your children how to save money. My kids are pretty good at this.
My husband and I are just starting to have this conversation – his parents gave him an allowance while at my house we were expected to help because it was part of being a family. We are trying to find something in the middle 🙂 Hopefully we will have a little time to figure it out yet as our kids are 6, almost 3 and 1
I wasn’t expected to help around the house while growing up unless I wanted to. I found that when I moved out on my own that I had no clue how much work it took to run a household. When I had children, I wanted to do things differently in my house and I started giving my children chores at a young age. I feel that my kids live in my house and should help because they are part of the family. After reading feedback from my readers on my blog and other social media platforms, there were some parents who gave their child a list of chores that they had to do on a regular basis. Then they would offer additional chores where they could earn money. This might work in your situation. Remember, if the entire family helps with the chores, then there is more time to go and do things ie have fun. Thank you for stopping by and I hope this post was helpful.
I personally think that they should because it’s teaching them a lot of necessary skills. money management, responsibility, and it’s motivation to keep things cleaned up and when they are older it will have made a difference, when I was little I didn’t get it but I did chores whereas my boyfriend didn’t have to… lets just say I am more likely to clean then he is lol
I don’t pay my kids for doing chores simply because they live and make messes in the house too. So they are responsible for helping clean up, even if they didn’t make the mess. I pay for all of their extra stuff that they want to do, like going bowling, skating, movies, ect. They do get money occasionally for doing something above and beyond, plus they usually get money on their Birthday, Christmas, ect. So they are able to learn money management too.