Then there’s making out with another person who wears glasses (see, the clash of the arms and the lenses), and you haven’t experienced true horror until you wake up, and can’t find your glasses because they’ve fallen down the side of your bed. Latest; Highest Rated Glasses Insults; Random Glasses Insults; Mean Insults. You didn’t fall out of the stupid tree. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent! The most suitable punishment for you is to go f*** yourself. You have enough fat to make another human. I never pick on somebody who is unarmed. In such a case, you need just one thing: mean comebacks. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. To highlight the plight of the bespectacled, Bored Panda has found some of the funniest glasses jokes that show the struggles of wearing goggles. I’ve always wanted to meet your family. There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket! Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard me…I said, You Look fat in those pants. Had a laugh with our funny insults? I don’t remember when I asked for your opinion. See more ideas about Funny insults, Funny quotes, Good comebacks. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? How do you comb your hair so that the horns don’t show? Guy: So what do you do for a living?Girl: Female impersonator. Don’t bother leaving a message. I’d like to help you out. He is selfish. There are some stupid people in this world. You don’t know me, you just wish you did. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. You need to eat make up so that you look a little pretty on the inside. Šarūnė Bar Community member. You have a very sympathetic face. Day-in-day-out, we experience the battle of having to swap them with sunglasses and not being able to see in sunny weather. Hey Pandas, Tell Us A Funny Story That Happened On Halloween? I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it. When you have snappy comebacks for your friends who are roasting you, or for a bully, they will think twice the next time they want to tell you to shut up. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. What are you doing here? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. In fact in your case they’re nothing.• Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.• Don’t you have a terribly empty feeling – in your skull?• Don’t you need a license to be that ugly? If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? You’re a whole lot worse. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? And he acts so funny but in a mean way, he hurts people. Before? Yep, been there. Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! You get into people’s hair. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid? Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? The worst thing that happened was that the wind blew my glasses into the road just as I was about to cross. Until you called me I couldn’t remember the last time I wanted somebody’s fingers to break so badly. You’re so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks. Mirrors don’t talk but lucky for you they don’t laugh. You must think you’re strong, but you only smell strong. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! • I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. You are free to go; because stupidity is not yet a crime. Guy: I’d like to call you. I didn’t get a haircut. You’re as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. You are so full of s*** I wish you would die of constipation. If i don’t answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work? I mean, we people with glasses already have problems, why can't we at least not have selfie problems. Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. So, a thought crossed your mind? It’s gonna be a long wait if you are waiting for me to care; so get some juice and popcorns. I really don’t like you but if you really must leave a message, I’ll be nice and at least pretend to care. I thought of you all day today. Check out really funny laffy taffy jokes we found for you, Check out really funny trucker jokes that will make you laugh. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here…, Girl: You know, I’ve been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents don’t count…. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Reply goes “You missed so many periods that i’m sure you’re pregnant.’, Girl 1: would you wear socks if you had no feet. Your beauty can be removed in a minute with Kleenex. I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job. I lied when I said you were cool. Well, Bored Panda has a list of people who had some pretty hilarious and perfect responses to … Be nice to nerds because chances of working for one are high. The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine. You’re so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator. Worthless to ME! — French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. You don’t like my sarcasm; I don’t like your stupidity. You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen. Which way did you come in? He hasn’t been back to visit since. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? See more ideas about Funny quotes, Funny insults, Funny. I have astigmatism, so I'm basically screwed without glasses at night. Pay no heed to it. Do you just show off when I’m around or are you normally such an idiot? Luckily I was within walking distance of home, but since then I've always kept a spare pair in my car. Thanks for helping me understand that. What’s your number?Girl: It’s in the phone book. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated. Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? to help give you the best experience we can. It must have been closed. You conserve toilet paper by using both sides. When a friend or family member tells you to shut up, chances are it’s in a playful manner. You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away! • You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ.• You are so old, even your memory is in black and white.• You are very smart. Pure coincidence is any similarity between you and a human. See TOP 10 insults one liners. Why don’t you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. Have you realized that people’s voices can be really unbearable when you are fed up by their stupidity and all you need is to order everyone to shut up? Definitely not a good idea to crawl into the middle of the road, patting the ground to look for them. You’re so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit. I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative. Walking into a warm house after a walk in the cold. We won’t bite unless we’re angry. Or opening a hot dishwasher, or coming in from the cold. Watching you trying to fix your entire vocabulary in a single sentence is uproarious.