Worry not, here are a few little remedies if you may that you may use whenever you want to insult someone without really using swearing. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. By using our site, you agree to our. Go find it and apologize.” — Alcho_Duck, “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.” — UlicBelouve, “Are you naturally this dumb or do you have to put in effort?” — TheToucanKing, “You consistently set low expectations and fail to achieve them.” — Merv_86, “Just quit being yourself.” — allmusiclover69, “I hope you lose weight so there’ll be less of you!” — bobapplemac, “Anyone who ever said they loved you lied.” — chileheadd, “I hope your day is filled with people like you.” — Adamdidit, “If only your mother had swallowed you instead…” — HappyLittleTrees17, “If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your ego, and jump to your IQ.” — Saoirse_Laochra, “I refuse to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.” — snugalufalus, “You spit in the face of evolution.” — Fishing_Croagunk, “Even dogs don’t like you.” — Av3ngedAngel, “Life is full of disappointments, just ask your parents.” — cmdrmcgarrett, “When your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.” — crabshit, “Not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.” — Alcho_Duck, “You’re the poster child for Birth Control.” — Rockwell87, “You are like the sun, not because you light up my world but because it hurts to look at you.” — PenguinsAreTheSenate, “You better die on a weekday, because no one will break their weekend plans to attend your funeral.” — triton2toro, “Whoever told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.” — ElVille55, You shouldn’t act hard-to-get when you’re hard-to-want.” — InarticulateAtheist, “Now I know why everyone talks about you behind your back.” — drsp00kz, “You’re about as useful as a screen door in a submarine.” — [deleted], Yessss I love this post ❤️ and if you don’t mind can you come check out my blog at https://beeuniek.wordpress.com/, […] a rival co-worker, however, you may want to return the insult. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-b-irvine/10-ways-to-insult-someone_b_2978927.html, http://www.oychicago.com/blog.aspx?id=8318&blogid=142, http://www.dw.de/the-du-sie-dilemma-in-german/a-16494631, https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/43244.Groucho_Marx, http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2008/6/5/how-to-insult-someone-without-offending-them.html, http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/insult.html, http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Isaac_Asimov, consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Insulting the recipient’s accomplishments can be particularly biting if the recipient has put in a lot of time and effort into them. "To some, a particularly vicious insult where there is also threatening behaviour is as damaging as a blow to the face." Also, be silent and don't make any noises, he won't know what you're thinking and he'll be uneasy. How can I roast (insult) a friend if I don't know how to roast? Some cultural insults border on the downright funny, such as the Japanese ‘’Tofu no kado ni atama wo butsuke shinjimae’’ (“Hit your head on a corner of tofu and die’’). Practice these comebacks when you're alone, preferably speaking out loud. Calling a stranger ‘’du Esel’’ is adding insult to insult. I can’t understand it for you.” — amperages. wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Avoid being mean for the sake of being mean with your insults. Make it seem like whatever he does doesn’t affect you in any way. A famous example of this is an exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Nancy Astor at a party at Blenheim Palace in the 1930s when Lady Astor angrily told Churchill, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your tea.” Churchill rebutted with “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”. Likewise, the less you resort to either curse words or scatological terms when directing insults against someone, the more effective they become when you do use them – and you can usually effectively insult someone without resorting to them in the first place. Ad hominem insults, or insults against the recipient as a person, are commonly delivered this way. These jokes became popular in the 1990s; by the mid-2000s, MTV had built a series around them. What should I do? This article has been viewed 87,537 times. You could research some clever comebacks on the internet and memorize them. To create this article, 15 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. The best way is just to ignore them. Skills that are often targeted for insults include driving or cooking, as in "You treat me like a god. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. If he pulls your chair out again, say “Thank you, the ground is much nicer,” then look up at him and grin. Being broad-based, in contrast, can be useful when you have had enough of a person because of the sum total of his or her bad behaviors and wish to have nothing further to do with that person. Prepare for the situation. There's this boy with bushy eyebrows that roasts me, what do I say to him? Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker. Like what you're reading? Save them for when you have a genuine beef with the person you want to direct them at. Don't hesitate to let your friends know if their teasing starts upsetting you.