It’s difficult to imagine how a gentle and quiet person like an INFJ can be angry. (Part 3): The Difference Between INFJ and ISFJ, Am I an INFJ? It’s as though I’ve killed or disassociated that angry part of me. With mindfulness, you won’t do or say things that you later regret. They enjoy analyzing a problem or situation in their mind or writing down how they see it – but it’s a very deep, internalized process. Normally controlled, insightful, and internalized, they suddenly stop trying to cage their feelings in and just want to act on the rage and fire they feel pent-up inside. There is an internal conflict between empathy and anger. This is a guy who’d never thrown a fist in his life. What underlying reason could the friend have to spread this rumor? Most of the time, the venting will stop after a few minutes. INFJs become angry about normal daily frustrations, but they can process those small things somewhat easily. INFJs empathize with others easily and usually have strong opinions on how people should be treated. Because INFJs are so naturally aware of harmony levels and emotional needs, they are irritated by people who seem tactless, rude, mean-spirited, troll-ish, or unnecessarily disruptive. “Does it make sense that I’m angry?” “What are the facts?” “How do the patterns I’ve noticed fit together with what’s happening now?”. When INFJs keep focusing on serving other people, our own desires get ignored and resentment builds. Yes, I was. They can get their own emotions mixed up with the emotions of other people and lose sight of the facts. So we feel intense remorse for what we have done and want to hide somewhere. Do you have any insight or experiences to share? It’s difficult for INFJs to express our anger in front of others. It became a self-protection mechanism to prevent myself from getting bullied or be taken advantage of. INFJs enjoy analyzing, categorizing, solving problems, and expressing their ideas clearly in writing. The more you try to tell an angry person to calm down, the angrier the person gets. But you don’t want to see it. What is the future implication of this rumor being spread? Of course, this doesn’t work for long. Meet your needs the best that you can. Even when they realize that they made the right choice, it still becomes something that they will have doubts about later on. When I say vent, I don’t mean acting out violently, throwing things around, or punching pillows. Unfortunately, this happens more often than not and leaves INFJs in a state of feeling that their greatest strength is nothing but a burden or a joke to most people. If there is anything you want to tell me, you can tell me when I come out of the room.”. Anger/frustration/stress is natural, part of being human. They become more impulsive, reactive, and obsessed with details and experiences. Looking for the implications of this behavior. If INFJs are in a state of grip stress they can be more harsh, reactive, blunt, and critical than usual. Give them a break from non-essential responsibilities. If someone doesn’t give you enough attention or do what you want, give yourself the attention you need or remove the expectations you have for them. It’s difficult to accept anger because of our empathetic nature (our Fe function) denies it as part of our identity. There is always something you can do. Being angry opposes our identity of being empathetic. INFJs can become caught up on seeing how people behave or treat others, and this is certainly something which upsets and angers them. However, once they are, beware. Because only I know how turbulent my insides are… But thank you sooo soo much for sharing these. They experience a sense of guilt over their own actions, always feeling as if they could have done better or helped others more. When we empathize with others, we listen to them and spend time understanding their pain.
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