What Every Parent Must Understand about Bullies and Haters Before They Let Their Children Post on Social Media Platforms

What Every Parent Must Understand about Bullies and Haters Before They Let Their Children Post on Social Media Platforms

What Every Parent Must Understand about Bullies and Haters Before They Let Their Children Post on Social Media PlatformsAnyone who is in the public eye can, and probably will, quickly become the target of bullies or “haters”. It is vitally important that both parents and children understand this point before a child posts on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Snap Chat etc. As soon as anyone creates an online profile they are now “in the public eye” and have opened themselves up to being mocked, verbally attacked or bullied.

There is not necessarily going to be any rhyme or reason for the hatred or attacks, because some people just like to hate for whatever reason. This is hard for most people to understand because they want to believe that they are doing the right thing and therefore they are entitled to their opinions and should not be judged. Unfortunately, this is absolutely not the case.

As an adult, you either come to terms with this fact or you spend your whole life worried about what other people think and say about you.

I know people take issue with my books, articles, YouTube videos and Facebook posts and they make derogatory comments about me and the positions I take on bullying, family safety, building confidence, etc. I cannot say that it makes me feel good when someone criticizes me or my material, but I do take into consideration the source. If the person doing the criticizing / hating legitimately has more knowledge about a subject than I do, then I may listen to what they have to say and maybe re-think what I am saying, posting or doing. However, if they do not have the knowledge base, training, and track history of producing content or an educational background that is more substantial than mine, then I simply mentally acknowledge their opinion and I move on with my life. Based on my own training and background, I do this knowing full well that I am doing the best I can to make the world a better place by helping people become safer and more empowered.

The problem is that children, as well as many adults, do not realize that they will be criticized and they generally do not possess the coping mechanisms or rational thought process to deal with a bully or hater because they have not developed these skills yet. Plus, children usually take everything that they hear or what is said about them seriously. Often times they don’t know how to handle the criticism or hateful comments.

Contributing to this problem is:

  • Parents don’t tell their children that people will hate / attack them for the things they post, the videos they produce or the opinions they present because most parents have never put out material that can be attacked and therefore do not have experience with this.
  • Parents don’t realize their kids are putting material out on the net.
  • Parents believe that their child’s material is good / correct / cute and therefore incorrectly conclude that nobody is going to attack the child, especially not personally, when in fact that is exactly what might happen.

These misconceptions are not necessarily the parent’s fault. Times have changed and most adults who are now of parenting age never had the opportunities with social media that kids have today, so how could they know what to expect?

Most people’s immediate response to an online hater is “people should get to say or do what they want and criticizing someone about their opinions, views, appearance etc. and trying to bully them shouldn’t happen.” In general these comments are correct, however, everyone in the public eye gets criticized and our society has made it socially acceptable.

Look at the vast array of TV shows where people are openly criticized. For example, on the Oscars every woman’s dress is critiqued and mocked if the reporter believes that it “doesn’t look good.” American Idol was horrible, especially in the first few years, in the way they openly mocked, criticized and publicly humiliated less talented people on the show purely for entertainment value. The producers could have easily not allowed the less talented people on the show or the judges could have simply been nice and encouraging even when removing someone from the show. American Idol was one of the most watched shows on TV for years partially because of the way it attacked less talented participants.

Every day news broadcasts take shots at politicians and their political talking point. Regardless of what someone’s political or social viewpoint is, somebody hates it and is quick to take shots at the person presenting it even if they themselves have no better ideas or even education on the subject.

Look at how celebrities are always being scrutinized about their appearance, political views, the quality of their movies, etc. It is open season on them all the time, but the truly big stars have come to terms with the fact that they are going to be criticized and there is nothing they can do about it. They accept it, deal with it, and move on with the peace of mind of knowing that the people doing the criticizing cannot do any better and are probably far less knowledgeable about whatever they are talking about than the person who is in the public eye.

I could expand on this list dramatically, but you get the point. Because our society has made it “okay” to so openly criticize, we have unintentionally put our children in the crosshairs of someone who just wants to hate and bully because they have seen how easy and acceptable it is. How can an annual anti-bully day, or some other short-lived awareness program, compete with the social proof of daily bullying and hating that our kids see all around them from what they consider to be credible sources? The answer is…it can’t.

Here is the point. Children should never start putting out videos, pictures, tweets, etc. without understanding that they are automatically going to become a target of somebody, or lots of somebodies, who hate and criticize them for no real reason other than they can. It is the parent’s job to make sure they have this difficult conversation with their kids and help them understand and come to the realization that there are always going to be haters, and usually they are far more vocal than supporters. It is also up to the parents to make sure that they continually follow up with their children about this issue because haters keep coming and eventually they will drown out the positive people because they are many times louder, as I mentioned earlier. If you would like a FREE report of how you can help your child with bullying problems at school, just go to www.antibullyprogram.com.

Kids who are bullied are more likely to become depressed or even commit suicide. Bullying is real and parents need to take their children seriously if they are being bullied either at school or online.

About the Author

Brett Lechtenberg has been teaching anti-bully skills to children and adults for almost twenty years and is the author and creator of The Anti-Bully Program and the Anti Cyber Bully Program and others. Learn more at Brett’s websites http://www.antibullyprogram.com and http://www.brettlechtenberg.com.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Have you talked to your children about social media etiquette and how to handle negative comments or bullying?

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Comments

12 responses to “What Every Parent Must Understand about Bullies and Haters Before They Let Their Children Post on Social Media Platforms”

  1. Linda Manns Linneman Avatar
    Linda Manns Linneman

    Bullying has been so bad lately. It has taken so many innocent childrens lives. Thank you for sharing this great article

  2. Pamela Gurganus Avatar
    Pamela Gurganus

    This was a great read. Thank you for sharing this information.

  3. Dominique Goh Avatar

    It’s true there are a lot of dangers online and kids do have to know about them and how to handle it if it happens to them.

  4. Sharon Avatar

    Ouch…yeah, parenting in this new on line era is hard. We do not allow our kids to start posting online until they’re 12, and yes…we spend time letting them know people are gonna hate. This was a great post, hun! Really…I enjoyed it a lot

  5. Karen Dawkins Avatar

    Our son’s high school just had a big rally to launch an anti-bullying campaign. He came home with questions about our own high school experience. I hate to admit, but there was one kid in my school who was bullied horribly. I didn’t bully him, but I didn’t stick up for him either. I can only imagine how much harder it is for kids these days with social media pressure on top of day-to-day troubles.

  6. Lois Alter Mark Avatar

    Bullying has become such a huge problem, and social media has only made it worse. Parents need to teach kids not to be bullies and how to react to bullies from a very young age.

  7. Rosey Avatar

    I let my daughter post to YouTube but only marked private. People can say very hurtful things on Social Media and the kids take it so to heart.

  8. Pamela Bluehs Rote Avatar

    You bring up many good points….I know I've done my best to watched most of what my kids put out—they do try to sneak a few thing things by, but I'm on every site they are and can see-follow-etc what they post.One other point I've had to make -is watching what they "LIKE" from other friends post. So many ways to be associated with "BAD" "EVIL" actions! Parents have to become covert spies!!!

  9. Danette Lykins Avatar

    My kids had minor dealings with bullies- thankfully not during the social media age! Thanks for sharing!

  10. Eliz Frank Avatar
    Eliz Frank

    Every time I read another media story about a kid who committed suicide because they were bullied relentlessly, my heart breaks. One thing I wish all parents would learn is that they are their children’s first line of defense. If we don’t advocate for our kids, who do we expect to do it? Why send a kid out there every day to be harassed and beaten up? We should have zero tolerance for bullies and haters. Don’t publish their comments and don’t condone their nasty behavior. Even if a person has more knowledge, they need to be civil.

  11. Edna Williams Avatar
    Edna Williams

    Bullying has always been a serious issue, however, when I was growing up, it was not talked about, and kids who go bullied became labeled as loners. Thank God it is changing now, but as a childhood victim of bullying, I wish it had changed sooner.

  12. Stefani Tolson Avatar

    I hate that bullying has become such a problem these days. I had to deal with a social media situation last year with one of my children. Can definitely be stressful to both the victims and family.