Novelist Peter De Vries once said, “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.” This witty writer maybe didn’t have in mind how we are, as adults, losing touch with our children, but one point reflects the other. In modern day and age, racing between our jobs and daily errands, we often overlook that most precious gift of ours, and how important we are to them. Our children are our future, and raising them is the most delicate task we will have during our lifetime. Somehow a gap is growing as time passes by, not just between our child and us, but between us and our inner child. We fail to remember what problems we had as kids, what we wanted from our parents, what was missing all the time. It is easy to say that you will do everything right when the time comes, and then when the time comes to act you are petrified at first, and you hesitate, frightened of mistakes that you could make. Or even worse, you choose to accept a bad advice from others, equally scared parents that are calm on the surface so you identify with them on a subconscious level, and you start to ignore your children, assured that it is enough to love them and everything will work out. It is not enough. You have to show them your love, you have to guide them through their sensitive ages and, when you think about it, aren’t we all just missing at least one more good memory of time spent with our own parents?
Laugh With your Kids
There is no place for your ego when you are raising a child. You have to share their emotions on their level, and react equally when it comes to laughter and expressing happiness. Help your children to identify with you, assure them that it is good to feel that way.
Don’t Be Silent
Build a mutual learning bond between your child and you. When they are in their most absorbable years, curious and tireless with questions, encourage their investigative spirit. Simply walk them through every process and errand that you are doing at the moment. Explain every detail in a soothing, playful voice. Think about how many things you yourself had to learn later as an adolescent. Basic tasks like washing your clothes or simple cooking.
Help Them to Feel Free
If their will is to dress up as superheroes, as princesses, act like dogs or cats, join them and play along. Of course, if their game is invading other people space or if they are hurting somebody, explain to them what are they actually doing. Kids are full of compassion and sympathy in their early years, and if they know that you are there to help them and guide them, they will listen to you.
Get Them Outside
With modern day computers and video game systems, children are missing an extremely important part of an early education. Nature is the best teacher, even a simple walk in a park counts. It is significant for their mental and physical health to stay active and interact with other kids. Play games with them! Take them to a place that has a bounce trampoline. It is a good exercise, keeps their mind active and learning, and they will meet a lot of new friends there. Go to playgrounds and organize field-trips frequently.
Check Everything With Them
Devote some of your time at the end of the day to sum up what have they experienced and how did those experiences affect them. Encourage positive wishes. Never show anger, if you are truly their bigger and smarter friend, it will be enough to express your concern about certain things. Never fight in front of the child. If the situation requires a more authoritative approach, discuss with your partner your action first, or withdraw until you reach a decision how to act.
Remember to Always Smile
It is hard sometimes, but don’t let your kids see your troubles before it is a suiting time to introduce them to a problem you might have. You want them to be a kind of person that will understand what you went through while raising them, but don’t rub that in their noses when the time comes. OK, just a little bit, maybe. They are your future best friends, so treat them as you expect from them to treat you.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
What is your favorite way to spend time with your children?
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