If you have ever dealt with an alcoholic in your family, you probably know how devastating it can be. Today, I wanted to share another mom’s story in hopes to inspire other’s to seek help if they are caught in this situation. Even if your spouse or family member doesn’t have an addiction to alcohol or drugs, there are countless other addictions that can rob a person from their family such as gambling, smoking, shopping, porn, sexting, ect.
Disclosure: All names have been changed to protect the identity of the writer. If you know someone struggling with addiction, please don’t hesitate to turn to your local county mental health or a licensed professional who can help with addiction. If a person is in immediate life threatening danger, please call 911 or emergency personal.
It was 8pm when I got the call at work. My daughter was to be picked up from her ballet class at 6:30 pm but after repeated calls to her dad, my husband, she was still there – waiting. Luckily, her teacher was nice enough to sit with her inside, as the rain poured on the streets outside. My husband of thirteen years had promised to pick her up, as well as getting dinner and the dry cleaning so that I could come home and relax after what had been a hellish day at the office.
My husband was nowhere to be found.
Hours passed and I’d reached my breaking point. When he came stumbling in, I helped him off to bed, took away his bottle of whiskey, and told him that we’d talk in the morning. For so many of us, this is a scene that we’ll replay over and over again… the breaking point before he had to get clean, or pack his bags.
The next morning, my husband and I began to talk about the previous night. I had spent the entire evening looking at male rehabilitation centers, and he was in agreement that it was time for him to get help. As we packed his bags, I think we both knew that for the first time in years, this was the one that would bring recovery. He knew it had to, or he risked losing his marriage, his family, and everything he cared about. My husband was ready to get sober for the first time in years.
He was no longer a “heavy” drinker… he was now a “problem” drinker – an alcoholic – and that had to change.
Over a year has gone by and I’m proud to report that my husband hasn’t had a drink since. He wanted me to share this story for those of you that were going through similar problems, and seeking recovery options. In his words, the three most important things on the road to recovery are (in order):
The will to change.
This is obviously the most important. You can’t wake up one day and decide to be sober. It’s a process and a very difficult one at that. Without the mindset that you’ll never have another drink, you’re just doomed to repeat the actions that got you to this point.
Comments
12 responses to “My Husband,The Alcoholic”
It breaks my heart that so many people struggle with emotional issues and succumb to addictions. We need more teaching of emotional release and transformation tools so people have somewhere to turn other than “pleasure” or “numbing out.”
Yes, it is a sad situation. Thank you for visiting.
Such a touching story, thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad to hear that you and your husband are doing better and I congratulate you both on one year of sobriety. Here’s to wishing you many more happy years together in the future
Preston thank you for visiting. I am thankful that I personally haven’t had to go through this situation. I shared someone’s anonymous story to help and inspire others. 🙂
Willingness to get help is an important component. There is shame and other issues usually happening.
I agree Amanda, thank you for sharing.
My dad’s an alcoholic and my childhood was hellish because of it. I remember well the nights he didn’t come home until very late, fight with my mom. The next day would always suck. It really is a tragic disease
Ah Sharon I am sorry that you had to deal with this growing up.
I’ve been around several people (some really important to me) who have had drinking problems and it’s definitely difficult for everyone. Sometimes even support is not enough, especially during the time but later it does help. The will and the power to do it is definitely the ultimate goal to get at.
My cousin had a drug addiction, that I think was fueled by my uncles alcoholic promblem. He struggled with it for year and no matter what help we offered it didn’t matter, because he didn’t want to change. In 2012 he did end up taking his own life. I’m not sure what advice I would offer, in my cousin case it was the only kind of life he knew. So maybe try to show them better, try and show them just how beautiful life can be without their addiction.
I am happy this story had a happy ending and that the family can now heal ♥
Addiction treatment is something that so many people could use, but few are brave enough to take the opportunity. I hope this husband finally realizes the damage he is doing.
I went out with an alcoholic-it was heartbreaking. I truly loved him but knew better then to get too involved. I tried to help him but the “friends” he hung with used to keep giving him more and more to drink. We ultimately broke up–then maybe 5 years later-he died from a bad liver. I distinctly remember his brother saying to me–“if he had stayed with you he might still be alive” I don’t know about that-but he certainly would have lived a longer life.