If you leave the doctor’s office with news of a miscarriage either from problems with the ultrasound or bleeding during early pregnancy, please know that you aren’t alone. Losing a baby is the hardest thing that any parent will ever have to face in their lifetime. It is important that you take the time to fully grieve your loss. What are some ways that you can cope with the loss of your baby:
- Take Plenty of Time to Grieve – Allow yourself to fully grieve and to feel the emotions involved with your loss. Never rush the grieving process. If you rush the grieving process, the memories will come back and they tend to come back stronger than before. Never listen to people who tell you that things happen for a reason and to just get over it. Do avoid people who just don’t get it or don’t understand how you feel.
- Take Care of Yourself – It is important that you take care of yourself and get extra rest. Your body just went through a very traumatic event and you need to take the proper amount to heal. Ask your doctor if there are any activities that you should avoid such as resuming sexual intercourse, working out, ect. Also, take time off from work if you feel that you need to the time off in order to grieve properly and it will help you avoid a million questions when the subject is still very new. Do tell people exactly how you feel, you should never sugar coat your feelings or tell people that you are fine when are you aren’t.
- Find a Support Group – It is important that you find a support group in your local area or on the Internet. This can be a great place to talk about your feelings with people who have been in your shoes and understand exactly how you feel. They can answer any questions that you may have about dealing with difficult people, sharing stories of hope, and just being there for you in your time of need.
- Find a New Hobby or Pick up A Hobby You Already Enjoy – This is a great way to help you relax and do something that distracts you from everyday life. It is also a great way to help pass the time, especially, if you are waiting for the green light to try to conceive again from your doctor.
- Honor Your Baby – Many people purchase a memorabilia or create a shadow box so that they can honor their baby. In fact, there is [amazon_link id=”B009YNNBTG” target=”_blank” rel=”nofollow”]jewelry[/amazon_link] available for people who have had a miscarriage. It is important to do something to honor your baby that means something to you. Don’t do it because you feel obligated to do it. Some people donate money, volunteer their time towards helping others who have had a miscarriage, some plant trees, create a scrapbook page, and there are other numerous things that you can do to honor your baby privately.
- Keep a Journal or Blog About Your Story – A journal or an online diary is a great way to keep track of your thoughts and feelings. If you end up blogging, you can help other parents who are in the same situation and eventually give them hope, if you end up conceiving and having a healthy baby later down the road. A blog is another way to help educate others on miscarriages. In fact, you can use a combination of both that way you can choose what you want to share with others and what you want to keep private.
If you have experienced a loss, I know that words can’t always explain how you feel or take away the hurt. It is important to fully grieve your loss and it is normal to be sad, angry, depressed, scared, question why this happened, ect. These feelings are totally normal and are part of the healing process. If you feel like harming yourself or others, please seek medical attention immediately by going to the nearest Emergency Room. Depression is also normal and if it has been longer than two weeks, please consult your doctor for additional help. If your doctor decides to prescribe medication, please be open to the help. While medicine isn’t a quick fix, sometimes after pregnancy our hormones are out of balance and the medication helps your brain chemicals get re-balanced so that you can feel somewhat normal again.
You may never fully get over your miscarriage and it may leave parents feeling like they have a hole in their heart.
If you have suffered a loss, please share what helped you fully grieve your loss so that your comment can give someone else the hope that they need to hear, if you are willing.
Comments
14 responses to “Surviving a Miscarriage”
I have personally never experienced this type of loss but know that I would have a really difficult time handling it. I just can’t imagine! I feel for women who have gone through this, in some cases, multiple times. Ridiculously hard.
Great post. xo
I personally haven’t experienced a loss either. I couldn’t imagine going through it.
These are excellent suggestions. I’m so glad you wrote about such a difficult topic. A friend of mine had a miscarriage and it was devastating to the couple. Their marriage has survived and they seem content with their two children. I hope more couples, relatives and friends read this so they understand how difficult this is and how much compassion, love and support the couple requires. Great post!
I can’t imagine the stress and toll that a loss could take on a marriage. Just like anything else, it could make or break your marriage depends on how the couple choose to react to the situation. I would think you would have to grieve together as a couple and individually.
I think sharing your story and finding others who understand and can be supportive is so important. I know both of these really helped a friend of mine who went through a miscarriage. Thank you for this post.
Your welcome.
I know some people who have experienced this, and it never quite seems to go away. The things listed here seem to be great advice. Keeping memorabilia, being patient with yourself, and getting your feelings out in a journal, I would imagine are sure ways to release the pain and find peace.
Rhonda thank you for sharing. I am sure it is difficult because most people are constantly reminded of their baby. Especially, on a due date, birthday, holidays. 🙂
THIS IS SOMETHING I’VE NEVER WENT THROUGH BUT HAVE HAD A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS WHO LOST AT MANY DIFFERENT STAGES–YOU BRING UP MANY GREAT POINTS.
Thank you Pam. There are so many different stages of grief and letting go. Plus each year that goes by a parent will always are reminded of their child on their birth day, due date, ect.
My aunt went through two miscarriages in the past, and it was a pretty difficult time not just for her, but for the entire family as well.
I am sorry to hear about her loss, not once but twice. Thank you for sharing Rebel.
My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. It was devastating for sure, and it took a long time for my husband and I to feel like it was okay to try again. In the back of mind I kept thinking there was something wrong with me, and I was terrified that it would happen all over again.
5 years later I found out I was pregnant again. The first trimester was terrifying, but we made it through. And now today, almost 3 years later, we have a beautiful little girl.
The worst part about a miscarriage, is not knowing what went wrong, and blaming yourself.
I’m a firm believer, and my faith is my lifeline, if it wasn’t for that, I’m not sure I would’ve had the courage to try again.
This is a wonderful post, thank you Christy.
Tasha, thank you for sharing your story. I hope that your story will help someone who is suffering from a loss and know that there is always HOPE. 🙂